There is more than meets the eye :)

There was once a little boy && a little girl. The little boy really liked the little girl for as long as he could remember. The little girl was popular. She was haughty. & thought the little boy was very dear to her, he was never her Prince Charming. She dated a lot of losers but was always left heartbroken. This hurt the little boy, he wanted to tell her he loved her. So bad. But he was shy. & he knew that what they had together was too precious to loose & so he didn't say anything.

A few years later the little girl wasn't so little anymore. She was a different person now. She didn't judge a book by the cover now. She wasn't the light-hearted person she used to be. She had gone through quite a lot.
The little boy wasn't so little either. He was popular and a thousand girls loved him. But he was still the slightly shy, caring & funny boy he used to be.
Now as the girl grew up she realised she loved the boy. She felt stupid. She thought it was a stupid infatuation that would pass and everything would be okay again. But it didn't. She didn't know how to act, what to say around him. She was losing her mind. It wasn't a nice feeling.
So one day, under the influence of gut & alcohol, she told him. She told him how she felt. He told her that he used to feel the same way & after a lot of pain had those feelings died.
The girl was shattered. Heart-broken. But she understood. She knew he would never want to hurt her. & what they had was too precious. To risk over something that might or might not work out.
The girl knew she was a long way from getting over him, though.
Now the boy had started liking someone else. He hadn't felt this way since he was a little boy falling for the little girl. But again, he was shy. He couldn't tell her though it was very obvious that she liked him back.
Our girl knew. She knew he liked her. & though it tore her apart, she wanted him to be happy. Because she was always his best friend first. She didn't want him to repeat his mistake. To not even try for something that he cared so much about. The little girl thought he didn't quite realise what he felt for the new girl.
The little girl asks the little boy to give it a shot :) & to be impulsive for once. :)
& that she loves him & wants him to be happy :D
& she is also sorry for being so awkward lately.

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He was a boy, she was a girl,
Can I make it anymore obvious?

He was a punk,she did ballet,
What more can I say?

He wanted her, she'd never tell...
But secretly she wanted him as well.

But all of her friends stuck up there nose
They had a problem with his baggy clothes.

He was a skater boy, she said see ya later boy,
He wasn't good enough for her
She had a pretty face, but her head was up in space
She needed to come back down to earth.

Five years from now, she sits at home,
Feeding the baby.
She's all alone.

She turns on tv,
Guess who she sees!
Skater boy rockin' up MTV. xD

She calls up her friends,they already know,
&& they've all got tickets to see his show

She tags along && stands in the crowd,
Looks up at the man that she turned down.

He was a skater boy,she said see ya later boy,
He wasn't good enough for her.
Now he's a super star!
Slamin' on his guitar!
Does your pretty face see what he's worth?

Sorry girl but you missed out.
Well tough luck that boys mine now :)

We are more than just good friends.
This is how the story ends.

Too bad that you couldn't see,
See that man that boy could be.

There is more than meets the eye,
I see the soul that is inside.

He's just a boy, and i'm just a girl,
can I make it anymore obvious?

We are in love, haven't you heard?
How we rock each others world !

I'm with the skater boy, I said see ya later boy,
I'll be back stage after the show.
I'll be at a studio,
Singing the song we wrote,
About a girl you used to know ...




Much love,
NJ.

Loss.

As we grow up, we loose a lot of people. There could be many reasons for why this happens.
When you were in 7th grade, you'll used to be best friends. He knew everything about you, he was allowed to read your personal diary, you'll were so tight everyone thought you'll were dating.
4 years later, you'll don't talk to each other for months.
You still love him, wish he does well. Would be there for him if there is anything that he needs. When you fight with the people you're closest to now, you'll turn to him for comfort, for love. For telling you that you've gone through far worse things in the past & you can make it through this.
But when something good happens, he might not be the first person you tell.
When you have a secret, you wouldn't mind him knowing. But being eager to confide in him, that feeling is gone.

People change. You're obviously not the same person that you were 5 years ago. You're changing. Maturing. Sorting out your priorities. Stuff like that. && somewhere along the way you've grown out of the things that kept you'll together. When it was the taste for similar music or being in the same school. You've left it behind & you don't find ways that would make you keep in touch as easily as you did before. It becomes more of a duty now. Something you do because the person is important.

There are people out there who I never, ever wanna loose. People who I've taken for granted, people I didn't notice before, people who I fucked things up with because of what I felt. There are also people who didn't like who or what I used to be but love me now, people who hurt me back then but regret it now. To all those people from my past. Who are drifting apart. Because I'm stupid & I don't realise how to value what I have until its gone.
I just have to tell you'll that I'm sorry. I really am. For being such a confused jackass. For being lost all the time. For crying about everything. For being irrational. And unreasonable.
Everytime I said I miss you guys, I truly meant it. Every single time.
This post, is just something to help me realise that I'm an idiot. & that I should be grateful to everyone who has stuck around for not giving up on me.

I'm sorry.

Much love,
NJ.